JUDGES DON’T Love Your children!

At our annual Family Law Bar Associatio meeting a while back, I spoke with a good friend who also happens to be one of the local district court judges. The judges is a parent and has raised very successful chilrend. We were dicussion mediation the great benefits it has over going to court.

My friend, the judge said, when couples show up in court, they are asked, “Why are you here. They often respond with they want me to settle their dispute about their children. I often ask them – So why are you here? I do not know your children, do not love your children, and will never know your children. But you want me to make critical life changing decisions about your children? Any you think I am in a better position than the two of you?

Mediaion is a place where you can have the difficult discussion on these issues with a trained professional neutral who will keep the conversation on task. Despite the heavy emotion involved, progress can be made and decision can be reached by the parties who know their children better than anyone else in the world. NO matter what you think, a juge will never be able to see the situation from your exact perspectvie. Despite a mandate to do what is “in the best interests of the children”, even the best judges cannot know you children as well as you.

No matter how angry you are at your spouse, or how certain you are that a judge will rule in your favor, it is always better to try to settle the parenting issues directly with the other parent rather than risk losing total control by placing the process in the hands of a judge who is a complete stranger to your family, who doesn’t love your children as a parent does, who doesn’t know you or your spouse and only a few hours to speak with inside the confines of a trial, and just might make the wrong decisions making matters worse, not better. .